


Finding Time

by lavendertears78



Series: Adventures of Parenting [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fighting, Kageyama Tobio is a Good Friend, M/M, Marriage, Panic Attacks, Pro Volleyball Player Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tendou owns a bakery, Working things out, eventual date night, i really suck at tags, im sorry, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25820362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendertears78/pseuds/lavendertears78
Summary: "What do you want me to do Satori?" Wakatoshi asked raising his voice, "we both have demanding jobs and we both have a son to take care of. I'm sorry if you're feeling left out but this is part of being married and having a child, I can't help that we've grown distant that's just part of being married.""Is that what your mother told you after your Dad left?" Satori shot back, his emotionless eyes boring into his husband.Wakatoshi's fists clenched around the comforter, "get the fuck out of my room Tendou.""Nice to know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Satori mumbled as he stormed off to the guest room on the other side of the house.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Adventures of Parenting [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752088
Comments: 76
Kudos: 214





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to the newest addition to my Adventures in Parenting series!! I've been working on this one for a while and I'm really excited to finally start posting it. I have it marked down as having four chapters because I think that's about where it'll end but it might end up being more or one chapter less. I'm not sure, but either way, I hope you stick around and enjoy this story! <3

Satori busied himself picking up the toys scattered around the living room. There was really no point in it because he was sure as soon as they got home they would just be scattered around again anyway. But this was the only thing keeping his nerves and excitement at bay. He knew he shouldn't be nervous and deep down he knew that the nerves bubbling inside of him weren't for himself, but for his husband. 

When he had first brought up the idea of taking a night for themselves, Wakatoshi hadn't taken to the idea right away. In fact, they actually got into an argument about it. All of it was just a laugh now, but at the time Satori had felt helpless. He and his husband hadn't had time to themselves, in any shape or form, since their son was born. Hiroshi was a year old now, and if Satori was honest with himself, and his marriage, things were a little shaky between him and Wakatoshi. Between him running the bakery, Wakatoshi playing professional volleyball, and raising Hiroshi, they never had time to just settle down and be themselves. 

He'd kept telling himself for a whole year that it wasn't that bad and that it was just in his head, but in reality, he knew something was wrong. There was supposed to be hushed conversations, jokes, laughter, and if he was lucky, even sex at night when he and his husband crawled into bed. Not the complete silence that hung between them as they brushed their teeth and the quick goodnight whispered before their son eventually woke up in the middle of the night and Wakatoshi brought him into their bed to sleep between them. 

Satori knew something needed to change or things would keep getting worse. Which is why he thought a date night would be perfect, a few hours to go out to dinner, see a movie, and spend time together. It wasn't really too much to ask. That is until he took into account that Wakatoshi was absolutely attached to Hiroshi. 

His husband had been separated from their son when he had away matches, but he always face-timed them when he could and he knew Hiroshi was safe with Satori so he never had to worry. The idea had never fully clicked in satori's head before, but after he thought about it, Hiroshi had never been taken care of by anyone but him or Wakatoshi. 

They had a system, Satori worked six days a week at his bakery, Sunday through Friday, and Wakatoshi worked Monday through Saturday. On the days that they both worked, Satori always left at four in the morning to start prepping orders and pastries for the day. While Wakatoshi didn’t have practice until about eight, so he'd get Hiroshi up and ready and then drop him off at the bakery before practice. 

After practice, Wakatoshi would pick Hiroshi up and then Satori would see them when he closed the store and went home. It wasn't the best system, but it worked for them and it meant Hiroshi wasn't in daycare. Satori didn't mind the idea of putting him in daycare but Wakatoshi had been adamant that he was not going to let a stranger watch their child. But Satori actually preferred their arrangement, it meant he was able to spend more time with his son and he got to watch him grow and say his first words. 

Right now, however, he was faced with the issue of having to deal with his husband giving himself ulcers while they went out for a few hours. Wakatoshi had told him over and over again that he would be just fine and that he trusted the people they had picked to watch their son. Satori wasn't surprised, the two men were basically their only option at this point. Satori's own mother had recently fallen and twisted her ankle so there was no way she could watch the baby. Wakatoshi's own mother was out of the question and had been since they got together. 

Satori bristled at the thought of that woman. He wasn't one for hating people, but she was a special case. 

So, Satori sat his husband down and told him that they only had one option and after a gruesome phone call, that was basically an interview for their two best friends, Wakatoshi agreed to allow Semi and Shirabu to babysit for them while they were gone. 

Satori let out a long breath as he leaned back against the couch, the house was clean, to his standards at least, and Semi and Shirabu would be here soon. 

He closed his eyes for a moment and thought back to the last week and chuckled at the pointless arguing it took to get him to this point.

  
  


* * *

  
Satori closed and locked the door behind him, slipping off his work shoes and hanging his jacket up before slowly walking further into his home, joints aching and feet protesting the entire way. It had been an extremely busy day at the bakery, they had run out of everything milk, eggs, heavy cream, baking soda, you name it, they ran out of it. He'd never had a day where he ran out of pastries to sell, but he never wanted to have one again, today had been a nightmare. 

His feet shuffled quietly across the hardwood floors and once he passed the threshold of the entryway he looked around to see that the living room was empty. Most of the lights were off as well, the main light coming from the setting summer sun and the stove light that his husband had left on for him. 

Satori glanced at the clock on the living room wall and realized how late he actually was, it was eight-thirty. He glanced over at the hallway on the opposite side of the room that led to his own bedroom, and then to the hallway next to him that led to his son's bedroom. A wave of sadness washed over him at not being able to put his son to bed for the third night in a row. 

He knew Hiroshi was only one, and most likely didn't care or notice, but Satori did, and the last thing he wanted was to make this become a habit. So, he quietly crept down the hallway to his son's room and slowly opened the door to peek his head in. 

There was still plenty of light coming in through the curtains - they really should invest in some blackout curtains - so he could clearly see Hiroshi sleeping peacefully in his crib. His normally wild red tufts of hair now combed neatly against his head after his bath earlier. Satori smiled as warmth flooded through his chest, he loved that little boy so much. 

Gently closing the door, he made his way back down the hallway, across the living room, and down the short hallway that led to his and Wakatoshi's bedroom. Quietly opening and closing his bedroom door, he turned to see that surprisingly, his husband wasn't in bed yet. The soft glow coming from the bathroom door left slightly ajar, and the sound of the faucet running let him know that he was in the bathroom. 

He walked through the bathroom door and was greeted by the sight of his husband, clad in his black pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt that really didn't need to be that tight. Taking a moment to look at him, Satori admired how fit he was, he of course had to work out for his job but Satori felt that even if he hadn't pursued professional volleyball he would still look just as he did now. All 6'3" of him would still be leaned up against their bathroom vanity, resting on one arm, the tendons in his forearm, and the muscle in his tricep flexing unnecessarily hard for the simple action, while he brushed his teeth with the other hand. He moved his gaze up to look at his husband's face, he looked healthy and content, not an eye bag insight and his skin looked vibrant and fresh compared to Satori's sunken and deathly features. 

He tried not to think much about it, but he really hadn't looked his best in the past few months. No matter how much sleep he got, his undereye got darker and his complexion duller. He even felt that his hair was losing its vibrant color and fading to a muted red, something that really bothered him a lot. 

"Satori?" His husband's deep voice pulled him from his thoughts and he looked over to see Wakatoshi was staring at him through the mirror, toothbrush hovering just outside of his mouth. 

"Hm?" Satori hummed meeting his husband's olive eyes through the mirror.

"Are you alright?" 

A soft smile spread across Satori's face as he nodded and walked past his husband and into their adjoining walk-in closet, "I'm fine Toshi." 

"Are you sure?" Wakatoshi asked turning away from the sink and watching his husband disappear into their closet. 

"I promise," Satori called out, lacking his normal enthusiasm. He quickly changed out of his day clothes and slipped on a pair of sweat shorts and a t-shirt before walking out to his side of the vanity and grabbing his own toothbrush. 

He stood there, toothbrush hovering just outside of his mouth when a thought crossed his mind. 

"Hey Toshi," his husband hummed as he continued to brush his teeth, "let's have a date night." 

Wakatoshi stopped to pull his toothbrush out of his mouth and stared at his husband in confusion, "what do you mean a date night?" 

"I mean," Satori sang as he wagged his toothbrush in front of his husband's face, "you and I should have a date night. We haven't had one since before Hiroshi was born and I think it'd be good for you." 

Wakatoshi blinked at him, "what do you mean good for me?" 

Satori hesitated for a moment, "well…you know, it's just that, ever since we had Hiroshi you've been kind of…" he paused trying to find the right word. 

"Kind of what," Wakatoshi pressed, eyes narrowing as he turned towards his husband. 

Satori desperately tried to find the right phrasing. How could he nicely break it to his husband that he was an overbearing, helicopter parent that everyone made fun of when he wasn't around. 

The truth was, he couldn't.

Well, he could but looking into the olive eyes boring into him, he couldn't bring himself to say it. 

"Satori sighed a bent over to spit into the sink. Wiping his mouth off, he noticed that Wakatoshi was still staring at him. Reluctantly, he turned towards his husband, leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I just think you've been kind of stressed lately," it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth. "Juggling volleyball and raising a child is a lot to handle and I just think taking a break for a night would be nice." 

Wakatoshi continued to stare at him for a moment before his eyes narrowed and he shoved his toothbrush back in his mouth. He continued to vigorously brush his teeth for a few seconds before spitting into the sink and walking out of the bathroom.

Satori closed his eyes and took a deep breath before flicking off the light and following after him. 

"Toshi," he said gently. 

"I am not stressed," Wakatoshi replied, yanking their comforter back.

"Then why are you so upset?" 

"I am not upset." 

"Babe you're manhandling our sheets," he pointed out. 

"I am doing no such thing," Wakatoshi snipped back easing his movements slightly. 

"Toshi, come on. Let's talk about this," Satori pressed walking to the end of the bed. 

"There is nothing to talk about," Wakatoshi dismissed as he stopped his assault on their covers and turned towards his husband. 

"Yes there is Wakatoshi, you are getting upset and all I said was that we should have a date night." 

"No, you said we should have a date night because you think I'm stressed," Wakatoshi glared at him as he spoke, "which I am not so we do not need to have a date night." 

"Are you being serious right now?" Satori asked as a harsh laugh left his throat. 

"Yes, very," Wakatoshi replied climbing into bed. 

"So you're telling me you are against us taking a night for ourselves and spending time together?" 

Satori stared at his husband in disbelief, while the other sat up against their headboard and stared back at him, lips settled into a firm line. 

"I am telling you that I don't think it is needed," Wakatoshi said sharply. 

Satori's expression didn't change as he took in what his husband had just said to him. It hurt, hearing his husband say that it was unnecessary for them to make time for each other. 

"Then what the fuck are we doing Wakatoshi," Satori shot back, his tone growing bitter. "Why are we still together if we can't even fucking talk to each other anymore huh? Do you not even realize how distant we've become?" 

"Satori, if this is because we haven't had sex recently I-" 

"Excuse me?" Satori's eyes narrowed as he took in his husband's nonchalant attitude.

"I said," Wakatoshi began, "if this is about-" 

"No. I heard that." Satori glared, "where do you get off thinking all this is about us not having sex?" 

Wakatoshi opened his mouth to speak but Satori cut him off. 

"No, I'm talking." he snapped, "I'm trying to talk to you about our marriage because in case you've forgotten, that ring around your finger isn't just for show. It actually means something Wakatoshi, it's supposed to symbolize our love for each other and the fact that we-" 

"I know how marriage works Satori," Wakatoshi cut in harshly. 

"Do you though?" Satori questioned coldly, "because it sure doesn't fucking feel like you do Wakatoshi." 

"What do you want me to do Satori?" Wakatoshi asked raising his voice, "we both have demanding jobs and we both have a son to take care of. I'm sorry if you're feeling left out but this is part of being married and having a child, I can't help that we've grown distant that's just part of being married." 

"Is that what your mother told you after your Dad left?" Satori shot back, his emotionless eyes boring into his husband.

Wakatoshi's fists clenched around the comforter, "get the fuck out of my room Tendou." 

"Nice to know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Satori mumbled as he stormed off to the guest room on the other side of the house. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter was posted a little late. I had to stay late at work and I didn't realize how much editing I had to do to this piece. I'm still not super satisfied with how this chapter turned out but I feel like it's good enough to post and it accomplishes what it needs too.

Three-thirty came extra early the next morning, especially when Satori turned to look at the bedside clock and realized that it was only one-eighteen and Hiroshi was the one that woke him up and not his alarm. 

He slowly pushed himself up out of bed and walked out of the guest bedroom and two doors down to Hiroshi's room where his muffled cries were coming from. Sluggishly pushing open the door, Satori was greeted by the full force of his son's cries as he stood up in his crib and cried out for his parents. 

"Daddy!" Hiroshi called out through his hiccupped cries, "Da-daddy!" 

"Hey baby," Satori soothed in a hushed tone as he walked over to pull Hiroshi out of his crib, "hey, shhh, it's okay baby." 

Hiroshi's crying turned to a soft whimper as he cuddled into his dad's chest, while Satori used his free hand to fish around blindly for his son's teddy bear. After he found it, he held it up and his son instantly tucked it underneath his arm and snuggled up to it as Satori walked him towards his bedroom.

Opening the door he saw Wakatoshi was propped up on one arm and rubbing at his eyes with his free hand waiting for Satori to lay Hiroshi next to him. He gently placed Hiroshi in the middle of the bed, the boy instantly snuggling against Wakatoshi and Satori busied himself arranging a pillow barricade on his side of the bed, while his husband spoke softly to their son. 

"Did you have those bad dreams again," Wakatoshi's sleep heavy voice murmured softly, as he ran his hand through Hiroshi's hair, "don't worry, those bad things can't get you. I won't let them." 

Normally Satori would laugh at his husband and make a joke about how Hiroshi didn't have any bad dreams he just missed his favorite dad, then Wakatoshi would slap him on the shoulder and tell him to go to sleep. But tonight he found himself rolling his eyes and holding back an annoyed sigh as he turned to leave and head back to the guest bedroom. 

  
Falling back to sleep was easy for Satori, but waking up to his alarm two hours later proved most difficult as he practically fell out of bed in order to wake himself up. The next difficult part of his morning came when he snuck into his bedroom, Wakatoshi and Hiroshi sleeping peacefully as he walked into the bathroom. He didn't bother to close the door all the way, since he normally always left it slightly cracked, and started up the shower. Such a mundane act shouldn't have been difficult, at least that's what Satori thought until he went to open the shampoo bottle and it dropped like a bomb against the shower floor. 

"Goddamnit," Satori cursed under his breath as he bent down to pick up the bottle. He cracked open the lid, poured some into his hand, and set the bottle gently back into its place. He turned to start lathering it into his hair but all but jumped out of his skin when he saw a looming presence in the doorway. 

After his heart rate settled, he realized that it was Wakatoshi standing there with a deep glare on his face. 

"What?" He snapped. 

"You woke up Hiroshi. Could you not have showered in the guest bathroom." Wakatoshi replied, his voice laced with irritation. 

"So I can’t use my own fucking shower now." 

"Not if you're going to be this loud at almost four in the morning." 

"It was an accident Wakatoshi, sorry to inconvenience you." 

Wakatoshi shot him one last glare before walking out and closing the door. 

"God you…just a stupid bottle…can’t even fucking shower, " Satori muttered under his breath as he finished up with his shower. 

* * *

Satori was still fuming by the time he parked his car and started walking towards the front doors of the bakery. He caught sight of Semi standing at the door and looked at his watch, cursing under his breath when he saw he was five minutes late. 

"Morning," Semi yawned as he shoved his hands into his sweatshirt pocket. 

"Sorry I'm la-" Satori dropped his keys the second he pulled them out of his pocket, "for fucksake are you fucking kidding me right now I swear…" 

Semi stared at his friend as he kept muttering to himself and watched him jam the key in the lock, aggressively swing the door open and storm inside. 

"Tendou?" Semi asked cautiously once they were inside and Satori had locked the front doors behind them. 

"Yeah?" The man sighed walking through the front of the bakery and towards the kitchen, flicking on the lights as he stomped through the shop.

"Are you…okay?" 

"Oh, I'm just peachy Semi, just fucking peachy." He grumbled, walking off to the back office. 

Semi decided just to leave the fuming redhead alone for now. Satori wasn't one to get upset easily and when he did it wasn't pretty, so he decided to leave the subject and let Satori come to him about it later. 

Satori grabbed his apron off of his office chair and pulled his wedding ring off and set it on the desk. It wasn't abnormal, he always took his ring off when he started baking in the morning, but he'd be lying to himself if said he didn’t feel a twist in his gut when he set the band down on the desk. He stared at it for a moment, oblivious to Semi's curious gaze, and felt his anger come back full force as he remembered their argument from last night. What was so bad about wanting a date night? Did Wakatoshi really not want to spend time with him that badly, he had to start a fight over it? Satori couldn't wrap his head around their fight. Looking back, he didn't even remember saying anything that would have made his husband so upset. 

"Hey," Semi's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, "what are you making this morning? Did you want to do the cupcakes or the macaroons?" 

He looked over and saw that Semi was looking over their daily plan sheet. He leaned over the other's shoulder and glanced at what else needed to get done today. Satori groaned when he saw how busy his morning was going to be, he had three pre-ordered cakes that needed to be done by ten, one, and three, he needed to get three dozen special ordered cupcakes done by four, and he also had to start baking to fill the display cases upfront. 

"What day is it?" He mumbled as he grabbed the scheduling sheet, "so we have Haku and Himari coming in today…they could probably handle filling the display cases…and I have to start crumb coats by six if I want to have time to finish decorating by…but then there are the cupcakes…I guess I could-" 

"Tendou you're rambling again," Semi pointed out, interrupting Satori's thoughts once again. "You do realize I am here too right? I work here, with you, as your business partner?" 

Satori took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Semi, I've just got a lot on my mind right now. How about you make the macaroons and I'll do the cupcakes, but at six I'll have to pull those first cake rounds out of the freezer to start crumb coating and decorating so do you think you would be able to finish the cupcakes?" 

"Yes," Semi said tying his apron over his sweatshirt. "But we'd better get started now if we even want them in the oven by five." 

Satori hummed in agreement and they both got to work with their respective jobs. It wasn't until his other two bakers came in that Satori realized that it was already six and he needed to hurry up with the last batch of cupcakes or he wouldn't get the cake done in time. 

"I believe you have a cake to be getting to," Semi said as he walked over to the counter Satori was working at and handed him the requirements and information for the decorations. 

Satori wordlessly took the paper from his hand and looked it over on his way over to the freezer to get the cake rounds. He stopped in his tracks as he took in the information on the sheet. Was it possible to have worse timing? What God had he angered to be put through this right now. He looked over the sheet once more and crumpled it in his hand, why on earth did he have to make a wedding anniversary cake today. 

* * *

  
Satori let out a heavy sigh as he plopped down in the booth, Semi quietly sliding into the other side. They'd decided to walk to the café down the street for lunch instead of ordering in. Well, it had actually been Semi's idea, seeing Satori's distress over decorating the anniversary cake, he thought it'd be best to get him out of the bakery for a while. 

Semi knew something was wrong, very wrong. It had to be if Satori was cursing almost every time he spoke, and lost in his thoughts when he wasn't. He hadn't seen him this bad since before he and Wakatoshi were dating. He had a haunch that this probably had to do with the man himself, but he didn’t want to make assumptions. 

"So are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to interrogate you?" Semi asked, laying his menu down on the table.

Satori fiddled with the edge of his menu before letting it slap against the table and dropping his head in his hands. 

"Wakatoshi and I got into a fight," he said slowly, "a big one." 

"How big," Semi questioned, leaning back into his seat. 

"Big enough that it might be over," Satori replied quietly before he dropped his head to the table. 

Semi sat there at a loss for words, he'd known Satori had been struggling the past year with trying to balance his work, the baby, and his marriage, with his marriage, always falling short. He thought that if anyone could figure out how to fix it, Satori would be the one to do it. But looking at how sad and tired the man across from him was, his heart sank at the thought of his two best friends hurting and in pain when they were always the ones to make the other happy. 

"What happened," he asked gently. 

"I really can't talk about it right now Semi, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I just…I just need a break from thinking about it." Satori looked over at Semi with pleading eyes and thankfully, Semi took the hint. 

"Alright, I won't ask you about it. But only on one condition." 

Satori lifted his head from the table again, confusion furrowing his brow. 

"What do you mean on one condition." 

"I want you to take the rest of the week off." 

Satori sat up, his eyes blowing wide, "excuse me?" 

"I mean it Satori, this is your life, your marriage, your child. You need to take time to fix this and you can't do it if you're working fourteen-hour days six days a week." Semi explained. 

"I can't take a whole week off, do you know how bad that would be? We have so many orders all week. There is no way you can do that by yourself!" Satori exclaimed, eyes narrowing in irritation.

"Satori, you act like the bakery won't survive without you." Semi sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. "I assure you everything will be fine. We have plenty of people scheduled and believe it or not, you aren't the only one who can handle the customers. I may not like it but I can handle even the worst of customers." 

"Semi I am not taking the week off," Satori stated, leveling the man across from him with a stern glare. 

"You are," he said plainly. "I am not taking no for an answer. Even if you show up tomorrow I will kick you out." Satori's jaw dropped, and Semi fixed him with a glare of his own. "Your marriage is more important than four days at the bakery Satori. You and Wakatoshi need to work this out. It's been a long time coming and I don't want to see you two hurt each other because you aren't communicating. So please, take the rest of the week off." 

Satori sat back in his seat letting his gaze drift to the window. He saw a young boy smiling between his parents, happily swinging their intertwined hands as they walked down the sidewalk. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd gone out like that with his own family. He brought his gaze back to the table and nodded his head slowly. 

"Alright," he said finally, the words barely audible. "I'll take the week off." 

"Good," Semi nodded, "now hurry up and decide what you want because the server has been waiting to take our order for five minutes." 

* * *

The rest of the day went about as good as Satori guessed it would, and that was shitty but durable. He hated that he couldn't pull his head out of his thoughts and be his normal happy and excitable self for his customers, but even he had his bad days. So much so that Semi had demanded that he go home early. Satori had refused instantly but after arguing for thirty minutes in his already drained state, he couldn't bring himself to care anymore and left three hours early. 

It felt weird, basically foreign, pulling into the driveway in the middle of the afternoon. He almost turned around and went back but he didn't feel like facing the wrath of Semi anymore today. 

It took seven minutes, but he eventually made his way out of the car and towards his front door. Something he's done thousands of times, but the fact that his husband was inside and would probably ask him why he was home so early had his stomach twisting in knots. In the long run, it probably was a good idea for him to leave early and try and tackle the situation head-on so he didn’t have to feel like this anymore. But every time he thought about asking Wakatoshi to sit down and talk about it, something made him push the thought away and bury it deep down inside him. 

Taking a moment to breathe and prepare himself, Satori finally opened the door and walked inside. The first thing he saw as he slipped off his shoes was his husband standing in the kitchen staring at him in confusion. For a moment, Satori thought he would say something but he just turned away and went back to whatever he was doing. 

Anger bubbled up inside of him. Sure, he hadn’t wanted to have the conversation with his husband about why he was home early, but Wakatoshi completely ignoring the fact that he was home three hours early had him heated. He guessed it was probably what Wakatoshi wanted since he didn’t see the need to spend time together he probably didn't even care what Satori did with his time anymore. 

His stomach churned at the thought, after all these years how could his husband just stop caring so easily. Did their vows mean nothing to him, had he not taken them seriously when they exchanged them four years ago? Satori was about to open his mouth and start the conversation right there when the sound of small feet pounding against the wood floors brought all his emotions to a screeching halt. He walked past the entryway and into the opening of the living room to find Hiroshi had crawled up onto the back of the couch and was intently looking out the front window. 

"Daddy?" He heard his son whisper as he peered outside pressing his face to the glass. 

All negative thoughts were flushed out if Satori's head the second he caught sight of his son, wild red hair, and bright red eyes, like he was programmed to factory reset the second he laid eyes on the boy. 

For the first time that day, a smile found its way to Satori's face as he slowly crept over to his son. The boy was still staring out the window, his big red eyes zeroed in on Satori's car in the driveway. Satori had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he inched closer to his oblivious son, fingers twitching in anticipation as he got closer to his target. He was only about a foot away when his cover was blown by his foot kicking a stray toy, sending it clattering across the wood floor. Hiroshi instantly snapped his head around, wide eyes searching for what made the sound, he froze for a split second when he saw his dad behind him before bursting out into a huge smile and quickly scrambling down from his perch at the window.

"Daddy! Daddy!" The little boy giggled as his dad hoisted him in the air and spun him around before hugging him close to his chest. 

"Oh, my baby!" Satori smiled as he hugged the boy to his chest, "Daddy missed you so so much!" He peppered a few quick kisses to Hiroshi's cheek, the boy giggling and pushing his dad away from him, before settling him on his hip and walking towards the kitchen. "Have you been having a good day Hiroshi?" 

"No!" The young boy yelled. 

"No!" Satori exclaimed in mock confusion, "why haven't you had a good day huh?" 

Hiroshi stared at him for a moment before happily yelling, "Daddy!" 

"Daddy's the reason why you haven't had a good day?" Satori asked feigning shock, "no way! I don't believe you!" 

"Yes!" Hiroshi giggled happily in reply. 

"He only knows how to say four words," Wakatoshi's low voice cut through the happiness in Satori's chest, "I don't understand why you try to have a conversation with him." 

Satori turned to look at his husband, to find that he wasn't even looking at them, but was turned away from them meticulously chopping up vegetables. 

"How else is he supposed to learn new words or how a conversation works if we don't talk to him," He replied flatly. 

"It was not a proper conversation and I am not the reason he had a bad day," Wakatoshi replied placing another carrot onto the cutting board he was using. 

"Why am I not convinced." 

Wakatoshi stopped cutting but Satori didn't stay to see any more than that as he walked back into the living room to play with Hiroshi until dinner was done. 

Dinner was quiet, not a peaceful quiet with the faint sounds of utensils hitting plates and the soft sounds Hiroshi made while he ate. No. It was the kind of quiet that could send you into sensory overload faster than a flash of lightning. The clinking of spoons to bowls too sharp, and the short tap of a glass being set back on the table sounding more like a harsh knock against the wood. Even Hiroshi seemed fussier tonight, but it also could've been due to Satori's fuse burning shorter and shorter the longer he sat at the dining table. 

There was no conversation between the two men, the only words uttered - a bit too harshly - were to their son. 

Clean up was solely left to Satori that night. It wasn't abnormal, but most nights Wakatoshi would help him with the dishes, asking how his day was and if he had any stories to tell him. More often than not, he did and his husband would listen along quietly, a grin forming on his face here or there while he dried the dishes and put them away. 

Tonight, Satori was alone in the kitchen as Wakatoshi bathed Hiroshi and got him ready for bed. Part of him didn't think he would, but he was pleasantly surprised when Wakatoshi walked into the kitchen to tell him that it was time to put Hiroshi to bed. He guessed it made sense. His husband might not want to talk to him or spend time with him but they still had a child together. There was no reason to break up Hiroshi's routine just because they were fighting. 

Hiroshi went down as quickly as he did every night. With a few small cries after they shut the door and then he was out like a light. 

After they closed his door, Wakatoshi walked off to their bedroom and Satori stared at his back as he walked away. He knew they should talk, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. He did, however, follow after his husband towards their bedroom. He didn't plan on sleeping in there, and he doubted Wakatoshi would let him, but he wanted to gather up some of his clothes and his bathroom supplies so he could put them in the guest bathroom. But as soon as he reached the door Wakatoshi turned to him with his signature blank stare. 

"What are you doing?" 

Satori held back his eye roll, "don't flatter yourself. I'm just getting some clothes and my toothbrush."

"There is no need," Wakatoshi replied, moving over so that his large frame blocked even more of the doorway, "I already moved your things earlier today." 

Satori stared at his husband in disbelief, not quite understanding the sinking feeling in his chest. Wasn't that what he was going to do anyway? So why did the fact that Wakatoshi had already done it for him make him feel this way? 

Satori didn't say a word as he turned away and walked off to the guest room. The sinking feeling never leaving even as he laid down and clicked off the light. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again if you read this far! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! <3 
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr if you'd like :) Lavandertears78


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satori pushed himself up from the bed, his mind clear and content. He was going to talk to Wakatoshi whether his husband liked it or not.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> All previous thoughts about how much he loved his husband and his decision to talk to him flew out the window as Satori's blood boiled in anger.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Satori meant to head straight to the guest room and cry over how stupid he was but he stopped moving the second he felt the tips of Wakatoshi's fingers ghost over his wrist. 
> 
> "Let's talk," Wakatoshi whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! First off I want to apologize for this being a day late. Work has just taken everything out of me lately. Secondly, I know I replied to a comment saying that everything will be revealed in this chapter, and it was supposed too, but I changed that. So you will finally understand Wakatoshi's perspective in chapter four because we get to see his POV! I thought really hard about it and thought the story would flow better if I made a chapter from his perspective and so that you can see, first hand, the conversation that helps him figure his shit out. 
> 
> Also, I want to apologize for how much angst is in this story. I want you all to know that I never, NEVER planned it that way! This was actually supposed to be a cute date night one shot but as you can see it turned into this bundle of joy. 
> 
> I promise the fluff and happy times are upon us! Just not right now...but they are coming soon.

  
It was funny how laying there in the dark didn't amplify the emptiness in his heart. Normally when left alone in a dark room everything seemed to hit you all at once, whether it be something you're worried about, one of your biggest fears, or just being alone with your thoughts. It was there, in the complete darkness of the guest bedroom that Satori realized that this feeling of loneliness was nothing new. He'd felt it before; as a quiet kid in middle school, as a loud kid in high school, as a curious and confused college student. He'd felt it many times, the last place he ever thought he'd feel it was in his own home when he slept next to his husband. But the sad reality was that he felt less lonely in the empty guest room bed than he did in his own bed that he shared with his husband. 

* * *

Waking up at six in the morning felt odd, but refreshing. Satori laid in bed and watched the streams of light that danced along the wall in front of him. The birds were chirping outside and a small smile formed on Satori's face as he listened to their pleasant songs. 

It had been years since he'd been able to sit and enjoy mornings like this, actually, it had probably been about ten years since he'd woken up early and had nowhere to go. High school being the last place he was free from adult responsibilities. 

Satori laughed as he thought back to high school; the tiny dorm he lived in for three years and the quiet mysterious boy who lived six doors down from him. How desperately he wanted to be the one to break through his walls. He didn't have a crush on him at the time but he saw how no one ever talked to the boy and how he never went out of his way to talk to anyone either. At the time, Satori knew it was none of his business but he also knew how sad it was to be all alone, even when there were people bustling around you. So he made it his mission to try and talk to the boy as much as possible, which proved rather difficult since they were in different classes and he never really saw him around the school. But his saving grace came at volleyball tryouts because that boy was also trying out as well. It only took two minutes - record-breaking considering he was the only one of the players who could get the boy to speak - but he'd found out his name, Ushijima Wakatoshi, and that he had been requested to come and play so he didn't have to take the entrance exam. Satori had been so jealous about that, the entrance exam for Shiratorizawa had been brutal even for people who were top of their classes in middle school, but surprisingly Satori had passed it with flying colors. 

Satori sighed and rolled onto his side, high school held some of the best memories for him. From sneaking out after curfew with Semi to go buy sweets at the 24-hour mart down the street to all the shenanigan's he and the rest of the Shiratorizawa volleyball team got into during away matches. High school had been the highlight of his life and Wakatoshi had been a big part of that. Wakatoshi had been such a pivotal point for him back then and even more so when they met up again a few years later after he was already an established volleyball player and Satori and Semi had just opened the bakery.

Satori pulled the covers off of himself and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat there for a few minutes letting his nostalgia run its course. 

Things always tended to be so simple when looking back at them. In high school, if he wanted to say something he would just say it. When he and Wakatoshi started dating and something bothered him or vice versa they would go to each other and talk it out. So what was so different about this argument? Why couldn't he bring himself to go to his husband and ask him to sit down so they could talk this over? 

The truth was there was nothing different about this argument. The stakes were exactly the same as they were with every argument or disagreement they'd had in the past. 

Satori pushed himself up from the bed, his mind clear and content. He was going to talk to Wakatoshi whether his husband liked it or not. He was tired of the bickering. That's not how he wanted things to be between them. He still wanted this marriage to work, he loved Wakatoshi more than anything and he knew that Wakatoshi felt the same. So he decided that after a quick shower he would sit his husband down and talk to him. 

He was just about to step into the shower when the bathroom door burst open scaring the life out of him. 

"What the fuck!" He shrieked flinching back and catching himself against the glass wall of the shower. 

"Why are you home," Wakatoshi demanded. 

Satori clutched his hand to his chest and tried to catch his breath while his husband stared at him impatiently from the doorway. 

"Could you seriously stop doing that please," Satori said once his heart rate went back to normal. "Also," he added while quickly tying a towel around his waist. "This is starting to become unfair. You don't see me barging in on you when you're naked." 

Wakatoshi stared at him, completely unamused with his banter. 

"Satori why are you home," he repeated. 

"Well don't go out of your way to be concerned or anything," Satori replied, dismissing his husband's question. 

"Stop playing games with me. Why are you not at work." Wakatoshi demanded again, his grip tightening around the doorknob. 

All previous thoughts about how much he loved his husband and his decision to talk to him flew out the window as Satori's blood boiled in anger. His husband had the audacity to come in here, scare the fuck out of him, and demand why he was home after showing no concern about him coming home early the day before or even looking the slightest bit worried right now. 

"You think you have a right to know about what I do with my life?" he replied bitterly. 

"Excuse me?" Wakatoshi scoffed, eyes narrowing. "What did you just say?" 

"I'm not repeating myself Wakatoshi. You have no right to barge in here demanding to know why I'm not at work after going months without showing an ounce of interest in me or how I was doing." Satori's voice grew loud, echoing throughout the bathroom. 

"What do you want me to do Satori!" Wakatoshi yelled, his eyes growing dark. "Our schedules never match up and when I happen to see you it's right before bed! I told you to start taking shorter shifts at the bakery and you didn't listen. How am I supposed to make time for you when you don't make time for your family." 

"Don't you dare pin this on me Wakatoshi!" Satori yelled back, neither of them noticing the small boy standing outside the bathroom. "I try so hard to talk to you every single night before bed and I even tried to suggest a way for us to spend time together and you blew me off and got mad." 

"Because you tried to tell me that I needed a break from our son because I was stressed. I'm not the one who's stressed it's you!" Wakatoshi shouted pointing at his husband with his finger. 

"Really? I'm stressed? Man, I wonder why?" Satori mused, his words dripping with sarcasm, "do you think maybe it's because my husband told me to my face that he sees no reason to try and make time for me? Do you think it's because no matter how hard I try you don't put in the same amount of effort to make this marriage work! Don't you think maybe I have a damn good reason to be fucking stressed right now!" Satori shouted back stomping past his husband but freezing in the doorway when he saw Hiroshi standing in the middle of the guest room, tears welling in his frightened eyes and his chest heaving up and down. 

"Goddamnit," Satori cursed under his breath as he moved to comfort his son. "Hey, Hiroshi it's okay honey," he tried to soothe, but the damn broke and Hiroshi burst into tears. 

Satori quickly picked him up and tried to calm him down before the screaming got worse. His husband seemed to have other things on his mind. 

"Where is your ring?" He asked from his place in the doorway. 

"Huh?" Satori snapped, as he shifted Hiroshi so that he could see his left hand. Sure enough, his ring wasn't there. Satori closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he bounced his son on his hip. "It's at the bakery. I must have left it there yesterday when I took it off to bake." 

Wakatoshi stared at him for a moment, looking between their teary-eyed child and his irritated husband. 

"Why didn't you go to work today?" He asked once again his tone softer than before. 

Satori narrowed his eyes, "shouldn't you be leaving for practice right now?" 

Wakatoshi turned his gaze to the bedside clock, it was seven-forty and he should have left fifteen minutes ago. He sent his husband a glare before rushing out of the room and slamming the front door shut. 

Satori spent the next twenty minutes calming Hiroshi down and eventually the toddler let him put him down. But the second he did he grabbed his father's finger and started to pull him out of the room. 

"Hiroshi Daddy has to get dressed," he said as he gently pulled his finger from his son's grasp. 

Hiroshi looked up at him and pointed down the hallway towards his parents' bedroom. Satori looked down the hallway understanding what his son wanted from him. Hiroshi knew he had to get dressed. He'd seen his parents nightly routine many times, in his mind, Satori had to get dressed in his own closet because that's all he knew. 

"Okay," Satori sighed letting Hiroshi guide him towards his bedroom. "Okay, I'll get dressed in my bedroom." 

* * *

Something wasn't right. Satori glanced at the clock at one-thirty and felt the familiar sense of unease build in his gut. Wakatoshi got done with practice at noon, which meant he normally got home between twelve-twenty and twelve-thirty, he was an hour late and Wakatoshi was never late for anything. He chewed on his lip as he glanced at the clock every few minutes, trying to convince himself that nothing bad happened. 

He teetered on the edge of worried and angry. One minute he was telling himself that his husband was fine and practice was just running late or he went out with the team, and the next he was irritated that Wakatoshi didn't have the decency to tell him he would be late. At around three o'clock he almost called him to see what was taking him so long but then his words from earlier came rushing back to him.

_"You think you have a right to know about what I do with my life?"_

Satori kicked himself for saying something like that. Not only because he would be a hypocrite if he called his husband demanding to know where he was but he shouldn't have said it at all. Of course, his husband had a right to know why he wasn't at work, they were still married, living in the same house, and he probably should have told Wakatoshi in the first place because if he hadn't his husband would have taken Hiroshi to the bakery thinking he would be there. 

He paced back and forth in the kitchen at a loss for what to do. His plan to talk had gone to shit the second Wakatoshi barged in on him this morning and it was his own fault. He should have been mature enough to put his aggravation aside and talk to his husband or just tell him that Semi wouldn't let him back into the bakery until they had worked things out. 

Eventually, it was time to start dinner and Satori couldn't afford to spend all his time getting angry at his husband when he had a hungry toddler fussing at his feet. So he started setting out ingredients for dinner and pulled a chair up to the counter so Hiroshi could watch, but after about five minutes he got bored, climbed down, and went running off into the living room. 

Satori paused his cooking to follow him and peeked around the opening of the kitchen to see Hiroshi was sat on the floor playing with a few of his toys. After making sure his son was fine he went back to making dinner, checking up on him every few minutes. 

The clock had just turned to five when Satori switched off the burner and heard a key press into the lock and the front door open and close quietly soon after. He looked over to see his husband standing in the entryway slowly taking off his shoes. Satori watched him for a moment as he stood there staring at the floor. He couldn't really see his face but the way his husband's shoulders hung lower than usual and the slight curve of his spine told him everything he needed to know. He'd seen his husband look this dejected and helpless before but Satori had never been the cause of it. Right now, he was, and he felt a pang of guilt watching his husband slowly lose his composure. 

Satori couldn't take his eyes off of his husband's slouched form in the genkan. For a moment he thought he heard a sniffle but he wasn't sure and he couldn't see Wakatoshi's face very well from the angle he was at but he could have sworn his eyes were red. 

As Wakatoshi turned to walk into the house he flicked his eyes up for a split second, making eye contact with Satori before darting them back to the floor and walking into the living room. 

Yeah, Satori noted as his heart fell in his chest, his husband's eyes were red. 

He stared blankly at the front door for a moment, listening to Hiroshi yell happily when he noticed his dad was home. Normally, Wakatoshi would be speaking to their son, but there was absolute silence after Hiroshi's excitement died down. 

Satori slowly made his way over to the opposite end of the kitchen to peek around the wall that divided the kitchen and the living room. His throat became impossibly tight as he took in the scene before him. Wakatoshi was sat on the floor with Hiroshi in his lap, hugging him gently to his chest. Satori took in a deep, shaky breath when he noticed the silent tears rolling down his husband's face and quickly moved back behind the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to hold back his tears, just as he heard his husband whisper broken words to their son before he got up and left the room. 

Satori took in another breath before he opened his eyes to see his husband walking down the hallway to their room. He heard Hiroshi make a confused sound and then heard his tiny feet patter off after his dad. Satori's chest hurt as he quickly followed after his son. 

"Hi-Hiroshi no," he got out before the lump in his throat caught and his vision blurred. 

Hiroshi ignored him and ran over to the bedroom door to start knocking on it calling out for his dad. 

"No baby," Satori whispered knowing that if he spoke and louder his words would break. "L-let's leave Daddy alone for a while." 

He bent down to pick Hiroshi up, his innocent red eyes staring up at him as he pointed to the door. 

"Daddy," he said quietly, turning to look at the door. 

Satori bit his lip and breathed in deep through his nose as he carried Hiroshi back down the hallway, the boy's eyes never leaving their bedroom door. 

It took him fifteen minutes but eventually, he calmed down and sat Hiroshi in his highchair placing his food in front of him. He'd also set out a plate for Wakatoshi, thinking he would come out to eat soon. When he didn't, Satori walked over to the counter to grab his phone and send a text to his husband. 

  
**Satori** 5:34 p.m.

_Dinner is ready if you'd like some._

  
He didn't really want to bother him, but he didn't want him to go hungry either. 

  
**< 3 Miracle Boy <3** 5:35 p.m. 

_I am not hungry but thank you._

* * *

  
The rest of the night was strange. Cleaning up and bathing Hiroshi went surprisingly well but since he'd done dinner early there was still a whole hour to kill before he had to put Hiroshi to bed. They mostly just relaxed and watched shows, well, Hiroshi relaxed while Satori sat there trying to keep his emotions under control. 

He wanted to go talk to him. He wanted to go in there and fix everything. The past few days had been hell for both of them and he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted his husband back. 

Satori was so lost in his thoughts that it took Hiroshi's head falling into his lap to pull him from his thoughts and realize it was eight o'clock. He grabbed Hiroshi, the boy's head lolling against his shoulder, and hesitated going towards his bedroom. Wakatoshi would be upset if he didn't go get him so they could say goodnight to their son together. Even when they started fighting his husband came and got him before he put their son to bed. So he should do the same right? He should, but he didn't want to bother his husband if he didn't want to see him. 

While Satori stood there deciding what to do, he heard his bedroom door open and saw his husband walk out already in his pajamas. 

"Sorry I'm late," he mumbled as he walked past Satori and towards Hiroshi's bedroom. 

"It's fine," Satori replied softly as he followed behind him. 

They put Hiroshi to bed the same way they did every night. By placing him in his crib, turning on his white noise machine, handing him his teddy bear, and giving him a few goodnight kisses before they walked out and closed the door. For once, their son didn't let out a single whine after they closed the door, but they still stood there for a few seconds out of habit. 

Satori felt like he should say something, but he was too scared to look at his husband. Afraid of what he might see in his eyes. He wanted to fix this, he wanted to come back from this stronger. But his husband wasn't one to cry, and the last time he saw him anywhere close to this state, was when he decided to cut his mother out of his life. 

"Goodnight," he whispered, turning away so that Wakatoshi didn't see the stray tear falling down his cheek. Satori meant to head straight to the guest room and cry over how stupid he was but he stopped moving the second he felt the tips of Wakatoshi's fingers ghost over his wrist. 

"Wait," his husband's weak, choked-up voice made him curl into himself as hot tears flowed down his face. 

Satori cupped a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs as he turned around to see that Wakatoshi was just as much of a wreck as he was, tears streaming down his own face as well. 

"Let's talk," Wakatoshi whispered. 

Satori nodded and quietly followed his husband to their bedroom. 

They sat on the end of their bed in silence. Both men trying to calm down and gather their thoughts, but not knowing where to begin. 

"I…I don't even know where to start," Wakatoshi said quietly as he stared into the carpet.

Satori reached his hand out and slid it into his husband's hand, "how about we start together then?" He suggested softly. "We can start by walking through that night if you want." 

Wakatoshi lightly squeezed Satori's hand and nodded his head. 

Satori squeezed his hand back and took a deep breath, "alright let's start with your perspective then." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I honestly cannot believe how much you all enjoy this story, it makes my heart so full <3 
> 
> I also want to thank you all for your very nice and hilarious comments! They make me laugh and brighten my day more than you know. So again, thank you. I absolutely love reading them. 
> 
> P.S.   
> In case you didn't notice I did up the number of chapters and I think I might end up adding one more but I'm not sure yet. But just keep your eyes peeled in case I do! 
> 
> P.P.S.   
> Would you guys be interested in a steamy chapter? I never know if people want those in these kinds of stories. So let me know if you'd like me to add that in and I'll try my best!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wakatoshi followed the group of guys over to the bleachers, he caught Kageyama's eye and the other motioned for him to sit with him and Hinata but Wakatoshi shook his head and went to sit towards the back of the group by himself. Or so he thought until he saw someone walk up the steps and stop next to him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was, no one else wore knee pads like that.
> 
> "Do you mind if I sit here?" 
> 
> Wakatoshi shook his head, "go right ahead." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this chapter sure took a hell of a lot longer to finish than I intended. I want to warn you that this chapter is the longest one by far. Its word count is over half the amount of the first three chapters combined. I did not want to make it this long but I felt like I needed to in order to get Wakatoshi's emotions down and for you to not hate him so much (because he is going through his own shit too okay, Satori isn't innocent in this either). 
> 
> So, I'm sorry this chapter took like two weeks to go up but I hope it was worth the wait because I stressed about this chapter so much.

Wakatoshi slammed the door shut and rushed out to his car, throwing his duffel bag into the passenger seat. 

What right did he have to know about Satori's life? He had every right to know what he did with his life, he was his husband. Just because they were fighting right now didn't change that. 

Turning the key in the ignition, he took one last look at the house before pulling out of the driveway and heading towards the gym.

The entire drive was a blur, his muscle memory doing the driving while he was stuck inside his head. He couldn't understand why Satori hadn't gone into work this morning. Satori never took off work unless he physically couldn't get out of bed, and he looked perfectly fine to Wakatoshi when he'd yelled at him. 

There was also the fact that Satori had come home early the night before as well. That never happened, and if Wakatoshi had not been having a terrible day or not been still upset with his husband, he would've asked him why he was home early. But their arguing was wearing him down and adding Hiroshi's tantrums on top of that, he just didn't have the energy to talk about it. 

* * *

When Wakatoshi pulled up to the gym, he was confused to see players from the Black Jackals waiting outside with a few members of his team. He didn't remember their coach scheduling a practice match and he would never schedule one after giving them a free day from practice the day before. 

Wakatoshi parked his car and got out, catching the tail end of the conversation someone was having next to him. 

"Well, then how about three o'clock then? We can drop the boys off at your mom's house at two and then head straight over to the restaurant. It's a little early for dinner but-" The guys' sentence stopped, probably listening to whatever the person he was speaking to was saying. 

Wakatoshi knew it was rude to eavesdrop and that he should just grab his bag and head into the gym. But the conversation was too similar to his own issues that he stood by his car pretending to do something on his phone. 

"Mm," he heard the man hum into his phone. "Okay, then I'll make the reservation for five then." 

Wakatoshi heard the man shut his car door and his shoes scuffle against the pavement as he walked around his car. Glancing over, he instantly recognized the spiked strands of gray and black hair, it always reminded him of how his husband's hair had looked back in high school.

"Oh, and Keiji," Bokuto paused as a warm smile formed on his face. "I love you." 

Wakatoshi quickly tore his gaze away and reached over to grab his duffel bag out of his car. He tried to ignore it, but the pain that formed in his chest at how effortlessly Bokuto had planned a night out with his husband, made it hard for him to breathe. 

"Ushijima-San!" 

Wakatoshi flinched hearing his name as he gently closed his car door. He looked up to see Hinata barreling his way over to his car, a glowering Kageyama behind him. 

"Hello Hinata," he replied shifting his bag on his shoulder and giving a small nod towards Kageyama. 

"Are you excited for the practice match today?" The shorter man asked bouncing on his toes. 

"I was unaware we were having one," Wakatoshi answered sparing a glance at Kageyama. 

He saw Hinata deflate as Kageyama laid a hand on his shoulder.

"It was a last-minute decision," he explained looking to Wakatoshi. "Our coaches thought it would be good to have a practice match since most of our players were on the Olympic team and we have that meeting with the Olympic trainer later today." 

Wakatoshi stared at him for a moment, trying to recall information for a national team meeting. Surely he would've remembered that. He remembered getting a phone call about it. 

The coach for the Olympic team had called him a few weeks ago explaining how they were going to have a meeting with the previous team to go over plans for the next Olympics. How could he have forgotten that it was today? 

"Oh, I forgot that was today," was all he said as he walked off past the two bewildered men. 

* * *

If his day hadn't started good, then how he ever expected practice to be any different was beyond him. The first thing that Wakatoshi noticed as he walked into the locker room was that every single person was crammed inside of it. The Adlers and Black Jackals all trying to change inside their locker room that was barely big enough for their team alone. 

Wakatoshi maneuvered his way over to his locker and started changing into his practice clothes when he felt a looming presence behind him. 

He sighed and pulled his shirt over his head, "what do you want Hoshiumi." 

The shorter white-haired man popped up next to him with a curious gaze in his eyes. 

"What's wrong with you today?" Hoshiumi asked as he opened his locker that sat adjacent to Wakatoshi's. 

"Nothing is wrong with me," Wakatoshi replied. Hoping it seemed believable. 

"Lies," Hoshiumi said as he placed his clothes inside his locker. "You forgot the Olympic meeting was today," he mentioned leisurely, glancing over at Wakatoshi's surprised face, "and you never forget anything." 

"How did you know I forgot?" Wakatoshi asked as he sat down on the bench to pull on a fresh pair of socks. 

"Kageyama told me." 

Wakatoshi looked to the other side of the locker room and saw Kageyama instantly dart his eyes away from them.

"Even I forget things sometimes," he answered as he grabbed his court shoes and shut his locker. 

"Another lie," Hoshiumi stated plainly, "but it's obviously something personal or you would've fessed up. So I'll leave you alone," he said as he turned back towards his locker. 

"Thank you," Wakatoshi said quietly as he walked towards the entrance to the gym, oblivious to the pair of curious eyes that followed him out. 

* * *

Once everyone was gathered in the gym they all stood to wait for instructions from their coaches. Wakatoshi only caught the beginning of instruction as his thoughts ventured elsewhere. 

He wondered what Satori and Hiroshi were doing right now. If Hiroshi was being good or if he was throwing tantrums for Satori like he had for him all day yesterday. 

Glancing over at the clock on the wall he saw it was eight-thirty, about when they normally fed Hiroshi breakfast. His cooking never really compared to his husbands. Wakatoshi could make simple things like rice, eggs, or ramen, but anything more complicated than that he couldn't do. So Hiroshi probably enjoyed having Satori there instead of him to give him a proper breakfast. 

He imagined that there were most likely a lot of times Hiroshi preferred to be with Satori rather than him. His stomach sank as he thought about it but he knew it was probably true. 

Wakatoshi would never admit it out loud and only admitted it to himself a few months ago, but he knew he had an issue when it came to his son. He knew he was overprotective and way too anal over the smallest things but it was hard for him not to be. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Hiroshi or if he got hurt or sick because he wasn't being a responsible parent. 

Wakatoshi was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed there were people standing around him and staring at him. He blinked a few times and realized that it was Bokuto, Hinata, and Hoshiumi who were staring at him. 

"Coach told us to warm up with people who shared our positions," Hoshiumi explained. 

Wakatoshi nodded and followed the others to their designated spot in the gym. He stood next to Hoshiumi expecting to pass with him but the other looked at him and shook his head. 

"They wanted us to warm up with people from the other team so you get Bokuto-San because I already called Hinata." 

Wakatoshi turned to his left to see Bokuto was patiently waiting a few feet away, silently watching their conversation. He nodded to Hoshiumi and walked over towards Bokuto. 

"Hey man," Bokuto smiled, spinning the volleyball in his hand. 

"Hello," Wakatoshi returned the greeting and walked a little past Bokuto so that they could start passing to one another. 

Bokuto had always been a nice guy in Wakatoshi's opinion. Yes, he was loud and easily excitable but when it came down to practice or games there were times where he could be focused. Although, his focus teetered on the edge of eerily quiet and intense or calmly content and observant. But whether he was a nice guy or not, today was not the day for Wakatoshi to be partnered with him. Especially not after hearing his happy exchange with his own husband. 

Wakatoshi knew he shouldn't be bitter about the other's happiness and healthy relationship, but it was hard to move past the knots forming in his stomach. When he'd overheard Bokuto's conversation, the whole thing seemed so simple. Dropping Hiroshi off at Satori's mother's house and going out for a few hours. What was so bad about that? Absolutely nothing. Wakatoshi would have loved to go out for a night with his husband, it was something he'd been wanting to ask for as well. What pissed him off was the excuse Satori had used to have a date night.

Stressed? He thought we should have a date night because _I'm_ stressed? If anyone was stressed it was Satori, never getting enough sleep, walking around like a goddamned zombie because he couldn't stop working. Wakatoshi was honestly surprised that his husband hadn't ended up in the hospital from his lack of sleep and his extremely unhealthy amounts of caffeine that he drank to get through his days. 

In hindsight, it was very immature of him to get so upset over something so small, but it hurt. Satori telling him that he needed a night off because he thought he was stressed. That was such a bullshit excuse, he might as well have just come out and said what he was actually thinking. He thought Wakatoshi couldn't handle volleyball and raising Hiroshi - by himself most of the time - at the same time. Which he could, he'd been doing it for almost two whole years, and it wasn't fun, never seeing his husband and having to put their child to bed by himself most nights, it sucked. But no matter how hard he tried, Satori wouldn't change his hours at the bakery. 

Overall, he could get over that. He could've talked it out with Satori, and probably should have and just agreed to go on a date. But he wasn't expecting his husband to blow up at him about why they were still even together if they weren't able to talk about things. Wakatoshi had been confused, initially, but then angry because he'd tried, so damn hard to talk to his husband. It wasn't his fault that they were both exhausted by the end of the day. It wasn't his fault that Satori was killing himself over this bakery, and ignoring his family in the process. It wasn't- 

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" He heard someone ask from in front of him. 

"What?" he blinked back to reality and saw Bokuto standing across from him, volleyball tucked under his arm, and concern written all over his face. 

"Are you, okay man? You just seem super spaced." 

"Oh, yes I'm fine. I'm sorry for not listening to you." 

"I wasn't talking." 

They stared at each other for a moment, Wakatoshi kicking himself for letting his mind wander during practice and Bokuto opening his mouth to say something that was cut off by a whistle being blown. 

"Alright, everyone! Warm-ups over, go back to your teams and we will start the practice match." 

Wakatoshi spared a glance at the man across from him, he still looked like he wanted to say something but ended up turning away to join the rest of his team. He was a little grateful for that, sharing aspects of his personal life was definitely not his thing, and especially to someone who he didn't think could keep a secret to save his life. 

Instructions were easier to listen to this time, mainly because he forced himself not to think about anything going on outside of the gym. He'd be better for it he thought, otherwise he would throw off his own game. 

The line up was the same as every other time, Kageyama as the setter, Hoshiumi as the wing spiker, and Wakatoshi as the opposite hitter. He felt himself relax as his coach listed off the rest of the lineup and strategies for the first set. This was all familiar, safe, comforting. A nice distraction from the storm brewing in his heart. 

The Jackals won the coin toss and decided to serve first, Wakatoshi scanned the players on the other side of the court. Hinata was bouncing on the balls of his feet mouthing something to Kageyama, which earned him an annoyed growl in return. Bokuto was swinging his arms and cracking his neck, Atsumu was trying to get under Kageyama's skin as usual and...Wakatoshi's heart stopped as he caught sight of the person who was serving. He hadn't even noticed when they were warming up, but the man currently slamming the ball against the court hadn't warmed up with the rest of the spikers. 

Part of him was hoping - no matter how bad that sounded - that the man had been sick today. But there he was, Sakusa Kiyoomi, looking rather healthy and determined as he waited for the start whistle. 

Wakatoshi squeezed his eyes shut, why did it have to be the Black Jackals, it couldn't have been any other team? Normally, he could look at the man with no problem at all. But now, just the thought of him had his stomach clenching and his mind whirling. 

The sound of the whistle caused Wakatoshi to flinch and blink his eyes open. But he couldn't get his bearings. What was the play? Had Kageyama used a hand sign? Where was he supposed to go, how did you run up for a spike again? Was it right, left, right, jump or - 

"Wakatoshi-San!" 

Kageyama's voice rang through the gym and all Wakatoshi could do was stand there and watch the ball arch high in the air and drop right in front of him. 

The gym went silent. Dead silent. 

Wakatoshi blinked as the ball rolled under the net, his heartbeat racing faster and his breath coming in short quick huffs. He looked over to Kageyama with wide eyes as he stumbled backward, someone coming up from behind and holding him steady. He flinched away from the contact, quickly turning around to see the worried expression on his coaches' face. 

"Woah, easy there," his coach said. But he didn't hear it, his ears were ringing too loud and suddenly it was becoming hard to breathe. 

"Ushijima-San!" 

"Ushijima-Kun!" 

He heard the varied uses of his name being shouted from all different directions and cringed into himself. This was too much, there were too many eyes on him and his chest was getting tight. 

"I-I need...need to," he couldn't finish his sentence before he rushed over to the doors and out into the hallway. 

The gym door banged loudly throughout the hallway, the sound echoing and mixing with the sound of Wakatoshi's footsteps as he ran down the hall. He didn't get far before he leaned against the wall and fell to his knees, clutching his chest as if the action would bring the air back into his lungs. 

What was this? He knew what it was, but his brain couldn't find the word. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but the first and only time he'd been through this had been in high school and Satori had been there to help him. 

"Sa-Satori," he sucked in a ragged breath but it wasn't enough, no matter how much he breathed in it wasn't enough and his chest was burning. 

"Wakatoshi-San!" The gym door slammed open again and footsteps pounded quickly against the floor. 

In a second, Kageyama was crouching down in front of him, eyes flicking all over him trying to assess what was wrong. 

"Sa-Sa-Sat," it was flashing through his head but he couldn't get the name out. 

"Wakatoshi-San, you need to calm down. You need to slow your breathing down." Kageyama sat down on his knees to bring himself to eye level as he forced Wakatoshi to look at him. "Look at me, match my breathing." 

Wakatoshi watched as the other took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, he tried to copy him but his breath was too shaky. 

"It's alright," Kageyama soothed, "try again, in...and out." 

They sat there for five minutes breathing in and out, and finally, Wakatoshi had calmed down enough to breathe normally again. 

"Thank you," he said quietly, his eyes cast to the floor. 

"Wakatoshi-San, are you o-" 

"Ushijima!" The loud voice caused Wakatoshi to flinch before he looked over to their coach walking towards them. "What the hell happened in there? Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine, now. I just had a panic attack." 

"Well, just to be sure, I'm going to have you sit out for the rest of the match." 

"No," Wakatoshi said quickly, "I am fine, please let me play." 

"I'm sorry but I do not want to risk you hurting yourself after something like that. You'll still be in the gym just not on the court so you'll get to watch." 

"yes sir," Wakatoshi replied as he walked back towards the gym. 

* * *

The rest of the practice game went well even though the Black Jackals took the last set twenty-five to twenty. One good thing about it was Wakatoshi got to watch their blockers better than he would've had he been playing. He spotted a few weaknesses but not many, either way, it was still good information to have on them. 

"Good game today guys," the Black Jackals coach called out as everyone crowded around in a circle. "You all worked very hard today and I am proud of every single one of you, whether you're on my team or not. For those of you who were contacted about the Olympic meeting today, we'll have you stay and take a seat on the bleachers, the rest of you are free to go." 

Wakatoshi followed the group of guys over to the bleachers, he caught Kageyama's eye and the other motioned for him to sit with him and Hinata but Wakatoshi shook his head and went to sit towards the back of the group by himself. Or so he thought until he saw someone walk up the steps and stop next to him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was, no one else wore knee pads like that.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" 

Wakatoshi shook his head, "go right ahead." 

Bokuto slipped past him and sat down to his right, but he didn't say anything more as their attention was directed to the trainer standing in front of the bleachers. 

The meeting was long and boring, Wakatoshi usually never minded them but today he couldn't stand to listen to the man talk. It was all the same spiel anyway, going over what to expect at training and how to prepare themselves so that they could make the team again in a few years. He found himself zoning out a lot and even picking at his nails, a gross habit that he'd thought he kicked back in high school. He also felt Bokuto's gaze drift to him more than a few times but he just ignored it, he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. 

An hour later they were released and Wakatoshi had never been so conflicted about leaving practice in his life. He sat there while everyone else got up to head back to the locker rooms to clean up and change before they left for the day. 

"Hey." 

Wakatoshi looked over to his right and saw that Bokuto was still next to him on the bench. 

"So, I know we've never really talked like ever, and this is a bit of a stretch but something is obviously bothering you today." Bokuto rubbed his thumb against his palm as he spoke, "I know I may not seem like the best person to talk to but if you needed it, I'm here." 

Wakatoshi sat there blinking at him, trying to understand what had made Bokuto come to him like that. He was correct that they'd never talked much before, not even when they played in the Olympics, so what was making him offer up his time when he could just go home like everyone else? 

"Thank you, but I do not want to bother you with my troubles." 

"You wouldn't be bothering me," Bokuto replied, "I got time to kill and you look like you need someone to talk to." 

Wakatoshi thought about it for a moment. Was Bokuto someone he wanted to confide in about his marital issues? He supposed that if he could get advice from someone it should be from a man who had a healthy marriage of his own. 

"I suppose talking to someone wouldn't be a bad idea. Would it be okay if we went to the cafe down the street?" 

"That's perfect," Bokuto smiled. "But uh, I'm gonna change out these clothes first." 

Wakatoshi let out a small laugh, "yes that would probably be a good idea." 

* * *

They'd put in their order and found a quiet booth on the far side of the cafe. Lucky for them, the rush had just ended and there was barely anyone inside. Wakatoshi was a little nervous about talking with Bokuto, he'd never really talked about his personal life with anyone other than Satori, so he was a little worried about how it would go. But to his surprise, Bokuto kept the conversation away from his issues until they were brought their coffee. Discussing how they thought the practice match went and who they thought would be good upcoming players for the next Olympics. 

Wakatoshi still wasn't relaxed but he was grateful that Bokuto was trying to ease into the deeper stuff. He really hadn't given the man enough credit earlier. 

"You have a kid right?" Bokuto asked as he set his coffee cup on the table. 

"Yes, I do." 

"How old are they?" 

"He's going to be two in two months," Wakatoshi smiled, relaxing a little. 

"Ah, the terrible two's," Bokuto laughed, "I sure don't miss those." 

"Yes, I do not think I am prepared for them at all," Wakatoshi admits with a small laugh. 

"No one ever is," Bokuto reassured him. "But as long as you and your husband are on the same page it makes it easier." 

Wakatoshi's smile tightened, "so how old is your child now then?" 

Bokuto leaned back, stretching his arm across the back of the seat, "well I actually have twin boys and they're three." 

Wakatoshi blinked at him in surprise, "twins? I cannot even imagine raising twins." 

The owl haired man let out a loud laugh, "I mean it sure has its ups and downs but you get the hang of it pretty quickly." 

"I am sure." 

"So," Boktuo started, repositioning himself in his seat. "As I said earlier, I know we've never really talked much…but I know the face of a guy who's going through some shit." His golden eyes softened as he observed the broken look on the other man's face. "I understand if you've changed your mind and don't want to talk about it but I just want you to know I've been there." Bokuto's eyes dropped to the table, "Last year, when we were doing that tour with the national team, Keiji and I almost got divorced." 

Wakatoshi's eyes widened as he took in what Bokuto had just said, "I'm sorry, I had no idea." 

"It's okay, I mean it was pretty nasty but we worked things out and moved past it. I just want you to know that if you and your husband are struggling right now, communication is the only way to fix things. Don't ever stop talking or avoid each other just because you're fighting. That only makes it worse and your son will notice it too." 

Wakatoshi stared at him for a moment. It was true that he and Bokuto had never spoken much before, if at all, but something about him made Wakatoshi feel like he could confide in him. 

"I don't know how much you care to know about my life," Wakatoshi began, "but I think it would be good to talk to someone about this." 

Bokuto gave him a gentle smile, "I'm all ears man." 

"Well, if I'm being honest, after our son was born we've grown very distant." Wakatoshi moved his eyes down to the table, "we used to talk a lot more and just be happier overall. But the past year and a half we just haven't had time for one another and barely have the energy to say goodnight to each other before we go to bed." 

Bokuto seemed to think for a moment before he rested his hands on the table, "yeah, I know what you’re talking about. Keiji and I went through something similar, it wasn't as bad since he stays home with the boys but we definitely had our rough patches with finding time for one another." 

"Your husband stays home?" Wakatoshi asked. 

"Yeah, he didn't want to at first. He really liked his job, it was just a small one at a library, but he really enjoyed it. It was a big decision but when we found out we were having twins we didn't really have a choice. We didn't want to get a nanny or do daycare, so it just kind of worked out that way." 

Wakatoshi nodded and pressed his lips together. 

"Your husband works though right? He owns his own business or something?" 

"Yes, he and his best friend opened a bakery together a few years ago," Wakatoshi replied stiffly. 

"You don't like him working at the bakery?" Bokuto questioned. 

Wakatoshi's eyes narrowed, "what makes you say that?" 

"You just got really tense when I brought it up," Bokuto shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. 

Wakatoshi sighed, "It's not that I don't like him working there. That bakery is important to him and I am proud of how far it's come…" 

"But." 

"But, I just wish he would work fewer hours," Wakatoshi admitted quietly. 

"He's a workaholic isn't he?" 

"He works fourteen-hour days, six days a week," Wakatoshi stated in irritation. "He gets up at three in the morning and works until they close and sometimes stays hours after, doing paperwork or prepping for the next day." 

"Damn, he does that every day? Does he not know that he needs to sleep?" 

"Apparently not," Wakatoshi grumbled. 

"Okay, well, have you ever told him that you want him to work less?" Wakatoshi's eyes fell, answering his question instantly. "Ushijima-" 

"Please don't call me that," Wakatoshi interrupted. "I'm sorry I just…I can't handle being called that today." 

"Alright," Bokuto said slowly, "I'll call you Wakatoshi if that's okay?" Wakatoshi nodded and Bokuto continued, "Wakatoshi you need to tell him that you want him to work less otherwise he won't know how you feel." 

"I have tried to bring it up a few times and he gets upset because he feels that it's wrong to own a business and not even be there to run it." 

"Yes, that's true, but that is also not what you're asking of him," Bokuto pointed out. "All you want is for him not to spend his entire day there and to be able to spend time together as a family. That is not too much to ask of him and he should understand that." 

"You make this seem like it's so simple," Wakatoshi sighed. 

"Not really, it's just easy to judge things when you're not the one caught up in all of it. Talking to him isn't going to be easy, especially if you've been fighting for a while. But it has to be done, even if it scares you and you don't know what to say." 

Wakatoshi nodded as he thought about all the things that Bokuto had said to him. He was right that none of this was going to be easy, especially with the knots already forming in his stomach. But this conversation had helped him to stop and look at their fight from a different perspective. It was obvious that he wasn't the only one who felt distant and he also wasn't the only one trying to make things work, he just wished he'd noticed all this sooner. 

"Thank you," Wakatoshi said as they walked back towards the gym, "it was nice to be able to talk to someone about this." 

"Hey man, of course, I'm always happy to give my expert advice!" He puffed out his chest and smiled wide, causing Wakatoshi to chuckle. 

"You know," he said, shaking his head, "I think I know why it was so easy to talk to you." 

"Hm?" Bokuto cocked his head to the side. 

"You really aren't that much different from my husband." 

"Really?" he asked with wide eyes, "how so? I don't think I've ever even seen your husband before." 

"Yes, really. There are still many differences since you're two different people, but you both are very energetic and charismatic. He even used to style his hair the same way back in high school." 

"Man!" Bokuto whined. "Now I really want to meet him!" 

"Well, if I can convince him to come to our game this weekend you might be able to," Wakatoshi chuckled. 

"Dude, yes, do it, and then you can meet my husband!" 

"I'll try my best," Wakatoshi promised as they approached their cars. 

"Alright, take care man, and good luck!" Bokuto gave him a thumbs-up as he walked around the front of his car. 

Wakatoshi nodded and smiled as he got into his own car, he was feeling a lot better about this, all he had to do was go home and talk to Satori. 

* * *

Wakatoshi came to a stop in the driveway and put the car in park. He'd come from the opposite side of the front door and parked so that you couldn't see his car from the front window. This was pathetic and he knew that. But his reassurance and confidence from his talk with Bokuto wore off the second he caught sight of his house. He even missed the turn into his neighborhood twice in his sudden panic. 

His grip tightened around the steering wheel and all the dread and anxiety he'd been feeling before came flooding back. He dropped his head to the wheel and closed his eyes, the quiet ticking from his watch sounding like a drum next to his ear. Tilting his head to the side, he glanced at his watch, it was four thirty-three, almost five hours from when he should've been home. Satori was probably going to be upset, he should have taken the time to text him but part of him thought that his husband wouldn't even care. If their fight from this morning proved anything it was that Satori was clearly done with him. 

_"You think you have a right to know about what I do with my life?"_

His husband's words from this morning came rushing back into his mind faster than his heart could handle, and it broke. The tears he'd been refusing to let go came out all at once and there was no stopping the sobs that left his throat as he hugged himself closer to the steering wheel. 

He didn't want it to be over, he didn't want to keep fighting and growing more and more distant. Satori had been his focal point for so long, his light at the end of the tunnel and now he felt like there was no hope, that no matter how long he walked there was no end, that the tunnel would just keep stretching longer and eventually he wouldn't be able to walk anymore. 

This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want it for himself but especially for his son. Wakatoshi told himself that he would never put his own kids through the same hurt that his parents put him through. He made a promise to himself to not let that happen and to never end up like his mother. 

_"Nice to know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."_

Wakatoshi's knuckles turned white from the force he used to grip the steering wheel. Those words had made him so angry that night. Satori knew how much he hated his mother for the way she treated him, the way she spoke about his father after he left, the way she neglected him his entire life, all the manipulation, and emotional abuse. He fucking knew how much that would hurt him. What hurt him, even more, was that he could see it. He could find so much of his mother in himself that he hated it. 

The constant need to be nothing less than perfect, for his family to meet the highest of expectations, to be in control one-hundred percent of the time. His mother had programmed him so well he didn't even realize how much of herself she had ingrained in him. 

Wakatoshi looked at his watch again, four fifty-eight, he wiped the tears from his face and opened his car door. If he was this much like his mother, then both Satori and Hiroshi would be better off if he wasn't there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervous laughter* 
> 
> please don't hate me too much...I know I promised happy times but this chapter was already too long so I had to cut Satori and Wakatoshi's conversation out of this chapter. BUT I can 100% promise it will be in the next chapter because that's where it starts off :) 
> 
> If you want to come yell at me about this story I'd be happy to talk about it over on Tumblr! Lavendertears78 is where you can find me (one of these days I'll figure out how to link it in here so that you don't have to type that in) I will also be posting some side pieces to this story that I am not going to include in the fic on Tumblr as well. So if you'd like to see those you can always look me up or you can follow if you want, I have tons of other Haikyuu related things there too. But no pressure! The love you all give me on here is more than enough! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satori slowly walked into the room and laid down on his side of the bed. Not bothering to get under the covers since he didn't plan on staying very long. He was lucky he was granted the ability to even walk in the bedroom. If he'd wanted, Wakatoshi could have sent him right back out, but Satori had a feeling that there was no fight left in his husband. Much like himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay, I know it's been a really long time since I've updated and I just want to say that I am truly very sorry! I had a lot of life things going on that prevented me from working on this story and then school started up again and I got caught up with that. Overall, it was not a fun time for me. But alas, I am back and with a very lengthy update for you! Sadly though, there is more angst...BUT! There are fluffy parts too! I won't spoil anything (even though the tags tell you everything) but I really hope you all like this chapter. I spent almost the entire time I was gone working on it and re-writing it because I just wasn't sure how to do it properly. I hope it gives you what you wanted out of this fic and I hope you don't absolutely hate it because then I'd be sad. 
> 
> Also, I tried to write a "steamy part" but unfortunately, I was not gifted with the skills to write such things and I wimped out and changed it. So, there is an attempt, and I apologize if it's absolutely terrible and cringe, but I tried. 
> 
> Alright, that's enough from me, thank you if you even read these I know they are long and just me rambling. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Satori sat there holding Wakatoshi's hand in his while he figured out what he wanted to say. It had been about five minutes since he'd suggested that Wakatoshi tell his perspective of the night of their fight. Satori didn't want to rush him because he felt like his husband had a lot of things on his mind, but he also knew Wakatoshi could sit there for hours trying to figure out what to say. 

"Wakatoshi," he said slowly, "I know you want to gather your words properly, but I think right now it would be best for you to just start with whatever is on your mind." 

"There is too much on my mind," Wakatoshi replied, dropping his head down. 

"Just ask me the first thing that comes to your mind." Satori gave his husband's hand a reassuring squeeze and Wakatoshi nodded and took a deep breath. 

"Why did you use me as an excuse to go on a date?" 

Satori looked at him in confusion, "what? Use you as an excuse, what do you mean?" 

"You used me as an excuse to go on a date," Wakatoshi repeated. "You said we should go on a date because I was stressed." 

Satori blinked at his husband. Yes, it was true he wanted to take Wakatoshi on a date because he thought it would take some stress off him. But he wasn't using it as an excuse, he just really wanted to spend some time with him since they hadn't been able to make time for just themselves in almost two years. 

"I wasn't using you as an excuse Toshi," Satori stated. "I just thought you would've liked to go on a date." 

Wakatoshi pulled his hand out of Satori's grasp and let out an annoyed breath, "Of course I would have!" he said sharply. "I would very much enjoy going out on dates with you again, it is something I have wanted for a long time. I just wish you would suggest it because you actually want it and not because you think I can't handle taking care of Hiroshi and that raising him stresses me out." 

"Woah Woah Woah, wait," Satori waved his hands in front of himself and shook his head, "where did you get that from? I never said anything about you not being able to handle raising Hiroshi." 

"You didn't have to," Wakatoshi said as he glared into the floor. "It was obvious in the way you explained it to me." 

_"I think it'd be good for you…juggling volleyball and raising a child is a lot to handle…taking a break for a night would be nice."_

Satori's words came flooding back to him and he squeezed his eyes shut and cringed into himself. 

"God Toshi, I'm so sorry," he mumbled into his hands. "I never meant for you to take it that way and that's honestly not what I meant. I do genuinely want to spend a night out together. I've just noticed that you've been a little more on edge lately." 

"I have not been on edge Satori," Wakatoshi cut in firmly. 

"Yes you have Wakatoshi," he argued. "When I come home I find you stress cleaning everything and you nitpick every little thing Hiroshi or I do and that's one of the sure signs that you're stressed." 

"That is not stress cleaning Satori, maybe if you were home more you'd be able to realize that." 

"No," Satori laughed as he stood up and walked away from the bed, "you are not spinning this on me again, you kno-" 

"I am not spinning anything," Wakatoshi interrupted, standing up from the bed as well. "This is about you," he said harshly as he pointed to his husband, "it has always been about you." 

"How has it been about me?" Satori asked incredulously, his eyes narrowing and his voice growing louder. 

"You're never home," Wakatoshi stressed, "that's been the issue the entire time. You work way too many hours than you should and-" 

"Wakatoshi," Satori cut him off, tone growing dark and bouncing loudly off the walls. "We have talked about this before, you know why I can't work fewer hours. I can’t just leave Semi to run the bakery by himself. That's not fair to him and it's not right for me as the-" 

"Then why are you home right now?" Wakatoshi interrupted again. 

"What?" Satori growled. 

"If it's so goddamn important that you be at the bakery open to close then why have you been home these past few days?" 

"That doesn't matter," Satori backpedaled. The last thing he wanted was to tell his husband that he wasn't at work because Semi had found out they were fighting. 

"It doesn't matter?" Wakatoshi scoffed. "Of course it fucking matters Satori, you tell me for two years that your bakery is more important than your family and that's why-" 

"Hold on," Satori cut in again, staring his husband down. "You don't get to put words in my mouth. I have never said the bakery was more important than you and Hiroshi." 

"You didn't need to," Wakatoshi spat, "it's been pretty fucking clear where your priorities lie." He turned to walk into the bathroom but Satori's next words made him pause in the doorway.

"My priorities?" He questioned before his tone turned louder and harsher, "Are you fucking serious right now Wakatoshi? Obviously, my top priorities are you and Hiroshi!" 

Wakatoshi whipped back around, "Obviously they fucking aren't! If they were you would understand that it hurts me to watch you kill yourself over this bakery Satori!" 

"Kill myself?" Satori laughed, "that's ridiculo-" 

"No, Satori, it's not," Wakatoshi said flatly. "You work ninety-six hours a week. Ninety-six. Do you even realize that?" He cocked his head slightly and waited for his husband to answer but he only stared back at him. "On top of that, you only manage to get, what? Four hours of sleep at night, on a good day. It's not fucking healthy Satori." He paused to set his husband with a glare, his tone growing cold, "So don't stand here and tell me that you're not killing yourself because if you took one look in the mirror you’d see what I'm talking about!" 

"I don't know what you want from me Wakatoshi!" Satori yelled, throwing his hands outwards, "I literally have no choice! This is what you signed up for when we got together." 

"No." Wakatoshi replied evenly. "I signed up to marry my best friend, the man I fell in love with, and that's not who you are anymore Satori." 

Satori flinched at his words, feeling like he'd just been slapped with a brick. 

"So you're just going to dig in anywhere it hurts huh? First my looks and now my pride? What comes next, you gonna threaten to take Hiroshi away from me?" 

"I'm not trying to dig at you, I'm telling you the truth. But if you want the full truth," he paused to set his husband with a cold stare, "if it means giving Hiroshi a happy life then I would gladly take him away from his father that doesn't have any time for him." 

"Excuse me? I make plenty of time for him." Satori defended. "I watch him while you go to practice. I come home and spend every ounce of spare time I have with him. I get up in the middle of the night to bring him into our room when he cries. I do so much with the time that I have and you don't even realize it because you're putting on this poor me act!" 

"I am not putting on an act!" Wakatoshi shouted, "Stop trying to blame me for this! I am the one who is being hurt and neglected!" His words hung in the air as he tried to force the knot in his throat to go down. "I'm the one who comes last in your life because you think I'm always going to be by your side no matter what...well, I'm tired of being last Satori, I'm tired of being ignored and I'm tired of living like this." 

"Toshi…" Satori's heart sank as he watched the tears fall from his husband's eyes. 

"You asked me the other night, what we were doing together if we can't talk about things. I thought it was because we loved each other and could work through this…but now I see that you're not going to change for me or for Hiroshi, and maybe that's my fault. Maybe I should understand your point of view but I can't. I can’t sit here and watch you run yourself into the ground over a bakery that could easily support itself without you there."

Satori could do nothing but stare at the broken look on his husband's face and feel his wide range of emotions drop down and cascade down his body in hot and cold flashes. He instinctively took a step forward to comfort Wakatoshi but the other took a step back and shook his head. 

"Don't...j-just don't," he whispered before turning around and shutting himself in the bathroom. 

Satori stood there staring at the bathroom door for a good while. Not knowing whether he should knock on the door or go back to the guest bedroom. 

How had any of this even happened? They were in here to work things out, not start another fight. Why couldn't he control himself when it came to this, why was it so hard to reach common ground when that's all he wanted to do. All he wanted was to fix things but the second he opened his mouth they were fighting and Wakatoshi was shutting him out again. He took one last glance at the bathroom door before turning around and leaving the room. 

The door closed softly behind him and he made his way down the dimly lit hallway towards the kitchen. His original intent was to turn the light off and head to bed, not that he'd be able to fall asleep anyway, but as he reached for the light switch his eyes paused on the bottle of liquor that sat on top of the refrigerator. He grimaced as he looked at the dark liquid sitting inside, repulsed that it was even in the house. Satori had never been one for drinking, he felt that all alcohol tasted disgusting and that it only ever brought about bad things. Wakatoshi, on the other hand, enjoyed drinking. Not that he did it very often. He usually only drank on special occasions or when the mood struck and he wanted to have a glass before bed. 

He stood there staring at the bottle, hating it for all it stood for as it taunted him to have a drink. This was the one thing he never thought he'd come to in his entire life, but he found himself grabbing a glass, filling it with ice, and snatching the bottle from atop the fridge before heading back to the guest bedroom. 

Sitting down on the bed, bottle of whiskey in his left hand, and the glass in his right, he swirled the liquid around, listening to the ice clink against the sides. He took a sip and felt the cold slip down his throat. It tasted like shit, at least to him it did, he wasn't really one for drinking but right now he needed it if he wanted to fall asleep any time soon. He downed the rest of the glass, grimaced, and placed the bottle and glass on the bedside table. Looked like he wasn't going to be able to drink his sorrows away after all. 

Falling back against the bed, he closed his eyes only to be plagued by the one thought running through his head since his husband had said it. 

"Ninety-six hours a week," he scoffed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, too lazy to do the math himself. 

There was absolutely no way he worked ninety-six hours a week, it didn't even feel like that much. The bakery wasn't even open for that long so it was literally impossible for him to work that much. He punched the numbers into the calculator on his phone and stared at the number that came up on his screen.

"No, there's no way," he whispered to himself. 

Satori punched the numbers in again, making sure he typed them correctly. When he accounted for his full shift, four to six, and the extra hours he stayed most nights, sure enough, he was working sixteen hours a day, which meant ninety-six hours a week. 

All the guilt and shame came flooding into him as he tossed his phone to the side, sat up, and dropped his head in his hands. For the past two years, he'd not only neglected his own husband but forced his best friend to overwork himself as well as take over everything the past few days while he was supposed to be fixing his marriage and all he could do was make it worse. 

What kind of person was he? How could he not realize how much he'd been hurting not only Wakatoshi and Semi but himself. 

_"If you took one look in the mirror you’d see what I'm talking about!"_

Satori squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out his husband's words, the reality of his situation crashing down around him. He couldn't even remember the last time he looked at himself properly, the only time he ever did was to mourn over his sullen features as he washed his face or brushed his teeth. 

Slowly pushing himself up from the bed, he tried to ignore how weak he felt, blaming it on the glass of whiskey he'd just drank. Making his way into the bathroom, he paused to look at himself in the mirror.

"Pathetic," he grunted to himself. 

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and off himself, averting his gaze away, scared of what he might see. The last thing he wanted to know was the toll his choices had taken on his body. He bit his cheek and let his gaze slowly drift back over to the mirror, taking in the sight of his stomach that used to be slim and toned, now soft and sunken. Overall, he didn't look as bad as he thought he was going too. He still had a decent amount of weight left on him, but he had lost all muscle definition in his arms and stomach, and his ribs stuck out a little more than they should have, but other than that he supposed he was still decently healthy. 

Oh who was he kidding, nothing about him was healthy. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd had a full day worth of healthy meals, let alone a day of full meals. Normally he'd just forget to eat and fill himself up with over-excessive amounts of caffeine that he was probably immune to at this point. 

Tugging his shirt back on, he flicked off the bathroom light and headed out towards the hallway. He wasn't sure if Wakatoshi would let him in the room or not, and he might've even locked the door, but he needed to apologize. Hell, he needed to do a lot more than that, but the truth of the situation was, there was nothing he could do to make up for what he'd done. Nothing could fix the hurt he'd put Wakatoshi through, or take back the things he'd said to him in anger. All he could do was go in there and hope it wasn't too late.

Satori opened their bedroom door to find Wakatoshi was already lying down in bed, his back facing the door, and his bedside lamp still on. The lamp was the only reason Satori didn't turn around and walk back out. If there was one thing he was certain about his husband, it was that Wakatoshi never laid down in bed when the lights were on. He'd sit up against the headboard or on top of the covers, but he never just laid in bed when the lights were on. It was this foreign behavior that told Satori his husband was still awake. 

Satori slowly walked into the room and laid down on his side of the bed. Not bothering to get under the covers since he didn't plan on staying very long. He was lucky he was granted the ability to even walk in the bedroom. If he'd wanted, Wakatoshi could have sent him right back out, but Satori had a feeling that there was no fight left in his husband. Much like himself. 

Wakatoshi had taken a long, deep breath the second he'd gotten on the bed and for a moment, Satori thought he was going to say something but only silence filled the small space between them. Satori let out a short sigh and turned over onto his side, staring at the broad shoulders in front of him. It wouldn't take much to touch him. All he'd have to do was extend his arm slightly and he'd be comforted by his husbands' warmth. He brought his hand up, preparing to gently place his hand on the others back. But at the last second, he decided to stop being hesitant and slid up behind Wakatoshi, wrapped his arm around his waist, and tucked his head into the nape of his neck. 

Wakatoshi had tensed up for a split second but shortly after, Satori felt him relax into his embrace and hesitantly place his own hand on top of Satori's. 

Oh, how he missed this feeling. The pleasant smell of Wakatoshi's shampoo mixed with the scent of his body wash. The old familiar heat against his chest and his cheek as he pulled the other tightly against him. This was something he hadn't done in a long time. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever just held Wakatoshi against him. The thought alone had his heart wrenching. How could he have been so blind? 

Satori squeezed his eyes shut to try and keep his tears from falling. He didn't want his apology to be ruined by any choked sobs that left his mouth. He didn't want Wakatoshi to pity him, he wanted him to know his apology was sincere, and that he knew he'd wholly fucked up. 

"Toshi," he felt the others stomach tense underneath his hand. "I am so sorry," Satori whispered, his heart breaking when he felt his husbands' stomach twitch and his breath become shaky. He pulled him even tighter against his chest mumbling apologies into his neck, like if he said it enough times it would make everything right again. 

"I am so, so sorry Wakatoshi. I never meant- I-I never-" he bit down hard on his lip as hot tears spilled down his cheeks. So much for not ruining his apology. 

In the midst of gathering his emotions so he could finish his apology and leave, he felt Wakatoshi shift around and opened his eyes to see watery, olive ones staring back at him. 

"Goddamnit," he choked out, trying to rub his tears away with his palms. "Damnit I'm such an idiot." 

"Me too," Wakatoshi whispered as he pulled Satori's hands from his face so he could hold them in his own. 

"No Toshi, don't say that. I'm the one who messed up." 

"I'm not denying that," Wakatoshi stated bluntly, causing Satori to chuckle lightly while he wiped the tears from his face. "But we both are to blame. Yes, you could have noticed a lot sooner that you were working too much, but I could have been more vocal about it." 

Satori nodded his head and took a moment to brush away a few stray tears on his husband's face. 

"Yeah, you're right. We both could have communicated better and made more of an effort to spend time with each other." 

"We could have done without the hurtful words towards each other as well. That did not help the situation." 

Satori laughed and rolled onto his back, "no it did not help at all." 

He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before he felt his husband's eyes on him. Glancing over, he saw innocent eyes looking over at him and he could almost laugh at how young Wakatoshi looked when he did that. 

"Come here," he smiled as he pulled Wakatoshi into his arms. His husband slid on top of him and nuzzled into the crook of Satori's neck. 

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Enjoying the familiar embrace that they hadn't felt in a long time. 

"I missed you so much," Satori whispered into short brown hair while he held Wakatoshi tighter against him. 

His husband's arms tightened around him as well and he curled even further into him.

"I missed you too." 

Satori closed his eyes and felt all his built-up tension and anxiety slowly fall away until he was left with nothing but the sweet warmth filling his chest. He didn't know exactly how long it had been since they'd held one another like this, but it didn't matter anymore. All that mattered now was that he was going to make more time for Wakatoshi and make sure to hold him like this more often. 

An easy sigh left his lips as he relaxed against the mattress, perfectly content to fall asleep with Wakatoshi in his arms. But the feeling of Wakatoshi pulling away had him blinking his eyes open to see his husband straddling his waist and staring back down at him. The sight had that familiar heat curling in the pit of his stomach and a playful smile danced across his lips as he ran his hands up his husband's thighs. 

"What are you smiling at?" Wakatoshi asked arching an eyebrow.

The smile instantly dropped from Satori's face, and he quickly drew his hands away from his husband's thighs.

"Okay, you can't blame me for misreading that," Satori defended. 

"Misreading what?" Wakatoshi asked, innocently tilting his head to the side. 

Satori blinked at him in disbelief, "Toshi…it hasn't been that long..."

A low chuckle left his husband's throat and the sound shot straight down Satori's spine. 

"I'm messing with you," Wakatoshi smiled down at him as he slowly ground his hips down against his husbands'. 

Satori sucked in a breath, "so is that a no or..." 

A devilish smile crossed Wakatoshi's face and that was all it took for Satori to yank him down into a kiss that had their bodies running hotter with every lick and bite. Both their hands sought out to rediscover their favorite places and Satori found himself sliding his hands up underneath Wakatoshi's shirt to trace the thickly corded muscle along his stomach and up his chest. He splayed his hands across his husband's chest and let his right hand wander to roll his left nipple between two fingers. A low moan left Wakatoshi's throat as he arched forward into the touch, making Satori's skin burn hotter as he flipped their positions. An attempt to take things further but he only managed to get his legs twisted up in the blankets. 

"God-damnit what the-" 

Wakatoshi laughed as he watched Satori struggle to release himself from a deathly blanket snare. His laugh only got louder as his husband managed to wrap himself up even more and eventually lose his balance and topple over the side of the bed. 

Satori saw his life flash before his eyes as he fell backward over the bed and hit the ground with a loud thud. He lay there staring at the ceiling, his pride was shot but he supposed it wasn't too bad if he got to hear his husband's deep laugh fill their bedroom. 

"Toshi," he groaned, "stop laughing." 

Wakatoshi's face emerged over the side of the bed and Satori could now see his flushed cheeks and the happy tears that fell from his eyes as he struggled to keep in his laughter. 

"I'm glad you find this funny," Satori mumbled as he outstretched his hand. "Could you at least help me up." 

"It is very funny," Wakatoshi chuckled before he grabbed hold of Satori's hand. "You should have seen your- ah!" 

A surprised gasp left Wakatoshi's mouth as he was yanked down to the floor, creating an even louder thud that earned them a soft whine from the baby monitor. The complaint stopped on the tip of Wakatoshi's tongue as they both paused all movements in hopes that Hiroshi wouldn't wake up. 

"He better not wake up," Wakatoshi threatened in a whisper. 

"He's not going-" before Satori could even finish his sentence a loud cry echoed through their bedroom.

"Daddy! D-Daddy!" 

"You were saying," Wakatoshi asked straight-faced. 

Satori rolled his eyes and quickly untangled himself from the blankets, an easier feat now that he was on the ground, and made his way out of their bedroom and down the hall. It wasn't necessarily how he had wanted to end his night, he would rather be above his husband making up for lost time, but he figured it wasn't the worst way this could have gone. The only thing that mattered was that he'd been forgiven, and now as he laid Hiroshi down in their bed, watching him snuggle up to Wakatoshi as he always did, an overwhelming sense of happiness washed over him. 

This was how it was supposed to be, soft laughs and smiles between him and Wakatoshi as they comforted their son and gave him - a few too many - hugs and kisses before he drifted back to sleep. The beautiful sight of his husband fast asleep while he cradled Hiroshi against his chest. A quiet laugh left Satori's mouth as he watched them, pretty soon Hiroshi would get too hot and wiggle away from his dad, but for now, they were peacefully asleep, and Satori felt at home in his bed for the first time in months. 

* * *

  
He closed his eyes for a moment and thought back to the last week and chuckled at the pointless arguing it took to get them to this point. Of course, it wasn't all pointless. Without that argument, Satori probably never would have realized just how much he was hurting himself and all those around him. Luckily, he had an amazing best friend and an absolute saint of a husband that forgave him regardless of if he thought they should. 

It had been a whole week since they had made up and Satori had dedicated that time to relaxing and spending as much time with Wakatoshi and Hiroshi as he could. Although, he did put aside time to plan out a new schedule for the bakery with Semi, one that got both Semi and Wakatoshi's approval. He now only worked open to close, four days a week, Monday through Thursday, while Semi took Wednesday through Friday and Sundays. It wasn't the official schedule, but it would hold them over until they could hire more full-time bakers to even out the hours a little more. Needless to say, this arrangement was already tremendously better than the previous one. 

A quick knock at the door had him opening his eyes and glancing over at the clock, leave it to Semi to always show up early. He popped up from the couch and called out to his husband who was somewhere in the house. 

"Toshi they're here!" 

"What do you mean they're here?" His husband yelled back. Ah, so they were in their bedroom. 

Ignoring his husbands' question he walked over to the door and opened it to be greeted by two familiar faces. He smiled and opened the door wider for them to come in. Anticipation building in his gut because it was finally, finally time for their date. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and waiting very patiently for this update! I know it came far too late. I hope the resolution wasn't underwhelming or not what you wanted. I really spent a lot of time fretting over this chapter because I really wasn't sure how to write it. But it's done and you've read it! And there is only one chapter left to go! Which means that I can finally add the last character to this story. Any guesses as to who it could be? 
> 
> (Hint: They will help Semi babysit Hiroshi while his parents are out on their date)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated <3 
> 
> Also, I have a little series of UshiTen drabbles (basically just Ushijima being a helicopter parent) on Tumblr if you'd like to read them my username is the same as it is here: Lavendertears78


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